Back in the Durty Duval. Sunshine, palm trees, slow drivers, and homicide. It's funny. I kinda missed it when I absolutely swore up and down that I wouldn't. I guessed I've carved out enough of a life here to stay after all. I feel good about my decision.
New York...a great city, but not the ONLY city. Now that I'm back home and I have time to think, I've come to the conclusion that I just wanted to try something different. I don't think deep down I ever wanted to move. I just wanted some excitement, some adventure. Whether it was getting wrapped up with an underground comedy troupe, getting chased by pitbulls in the slums of Prospect Heights, watching the fireworks from a rooftop in Brooklyn, singing karaoke in Korea Town, getting lost in Spanish Harlem, or staying punch drunk from whiskey, culture shock, overstimulation, or all three there was always something happening. I'll never forget the people I met, and I hope we stay in touch. The universe will decide. Beyond everything that happened during my two week stay, I left the Big Apple feeling fulfilled and satisfied.
NOW. That is that. I was convinced through and through that I would be moving about right now. I've been convinced of other things. I've been wrong plently of times. It's ok. I love surprises. I will teach again when I said I wouldn't. I will stay in Jax when I said I wouldn't. There are some things I will be doing differently, however.
Daniel and I have written between 20-25 songs in the last six months alone. Now that's not nearly enough, but it's more than the six we've totaled in the previous two years. So what we've decided to do is record another cd. It's happening this Thursday. I've already booked the studio and everything. I am beyond THRILLED about this. I have a very good feeling. Once this is finished we will start gigging. We've played a few art walks and open mics here in Jax, but we can do a little better with how often we play out.
I am hell bent on singing with the symphony chorus again. We're doing Brahm's Requiem! I can't even put into words how excited I am for this. I'm also planning on auditioning for the opera, Elixir of Love. There's just something about singing that's very basic yet so spiritual, especially with a chorus and an orchestra. It will be a great concert season.
There were times when I thought I was unhappy. It's strange how a person can beat themselves up over this or that. I was never unhappy. I just needed to try a little harder. It's been a year of growth. I'm ready to keep trying. Thank you, universe.
New York...a great city, but not the ONLY city
ReplyDeleteSo true! It's a difficult statement to make--to acknowledge that you can be happy right where you are or right where you'll be in some indefinite future. I know that every place I've lived in since I was 12 didn't feel like home, and I wonder if I'll ever be happy in any city. Because of that, I admire your attitude about all of this. It sounds like you have a lot of things to look forward to.
This does bring up an interesting point, though, that I have wondered: how do you know the difference between a change of scenery that allows you to grow and a change of scenery that is simply escape? There's great value in digging in and establishing roots even if a place isn't "perfect," but sometimes you have to move in order to find a place that fits your vibe. It's a difficult balance, isn't it?
That is an EXCELLENT point. I love hearing from you because you always seems to pull something out that most people wouldn't see.
ReplyDeleteI think that I'm still trying to figure that out. No I take that back, I'm pretty sure I'm still trying to figure that out. Until I do I'm just going to do what I can to make the best of what's around me. And you're right it's a very difficult balance.
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ReplyDeleteHannah, I definitely appreciate the support! Thank you for the words of encouragement.
ReplyDeleteOn another note I believe it's unfair to compare one's life to another. We were all put here to do what we are supposed to do and nothing less. Everything aside, we're all destined to fulfill something and that in itself is pretty great if you ask me.
I AM a butthead :)