Shoot From The Hip

Growing up no one really expected much of me. I wasn't an outstanding student in high school. I only made the dean's list once in college and I graduated with a 2.7. I was stuck in "the black hole" as people call it. My entire life I fantasized about moving away from home. Many of my friends were the same. When I moved, many thought I would be back within a couple of months. Here I am two and a half years later finishing my 2nd year of teaching. No one really thought I would move let alone stay out of "the black hole" let alone start and sustain a career. It's everything I wanted right? Maybe it's everything they wanted. Maybe I've focused on what everyone else has wanted for themselves without really asking myself, "what do you want, David?" I finally asked myself this question. The answer was puzzling as I came to figure out I had no idea what I wanted. Not until now.

Teaching is great. It's steady. The pay isn't outstanding, but at least I have some sort of status in life. However, I've come to realize I am not defined by a degree. I'm not defined by a career or a label. I've come to the realization that one's quality of life will be defined by what he or she values. So one must ask, "what do I value?" Ahh...that's a question I can answer.

I value self-expression. I value life experience. I don't want to just "be steady" anymore. It's no longer enough. Using my new discovery of what I as an individual values, I've come to the conclusion that it's time for another life change. I'm confident that these will be my last 3 weeks as a music educator. Once the school year is out, I'm flying to New York City with Daniel. We will look for work. We will look for a place to live. More than anything we will try something different. I want to be a musician. I'm taking a leap of faith. I will let the universe do the rest. Everything that is meant to be will be. If this is meant to be it will be. I've already made my peace with all of the possibilities.

"Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source. As we move toward our dreams, we move toward our divinity."-The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron